The meaning of Sacred Intimacy is right there in the name, in that it is sacred, and, well, intimate.
Sacred has so many connotations – some good, some potentially problematic – so I want to go back to the basics of what it means for me. At its core, to me, “Sacred” means something we hold in the highest regard. Something of paramount importance, to be engaged with intentionally and reverently. Worth saying: this does not mean you can’t have fun, be delighted, and/or feel really, really good while engaging in something sacred.
As for intimacy… it doesn’t just mean sex (I for one hate that particular lukewarm synonym). In fact, to think intimacy equals sex causes us to lose out on its many dimensions: there is emotional intimacy in all its flavors, and then there is physical intimacy, which can be split into the erotic and the non-erotic. To be authentically present with someone, whether physically and/or emotionally is a powerful medicine in itself. Like with so many things, society has not been kind to us in how it sees (and teaches us about) intimacy. It is severely limited in what and when it allows, which in turn is severely damaging to us humans.
After all, we are social, emotional, and sexual beings that need intimacy in all its forms to foster connections and to self and co-regulate. The predominant, limited and proscribed view of intimacy is hurting us all.
To acknowledge the role intimacy can and should play in fully realizing, embracing, and living our true authentic selves; to allow it to help us heal from trauma; and to then build meaningful, lasting, and delightful relationships with ourselves and others from that foundation, well, that is sacred.
Up next: Sacred Intimacy Core Principles